Are you sitting there wondering –
What am I going to do with my life after the kids move out?
Are you watching them getting ready to fly the nest and venture out on their own?
Are you excited for them, maybe even a little jealous of the free-spirited attitude they have for life?
Guess what? You still have this within you too. It may have been suppressed a little but always remember, we all have everything we need within us, it’s a matter of rediscovering it again.
I know how you feel, my babies left home a few years ago and as a single parent I am still rediscovering myself and redefining what I want in my life!
I certainly was NOT prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions that followed when my kids left home. The uncertainty, the loneliness, and most of all, the feeling lost and unsure of what to expect in your next chapter was so overwhelming and scary, to say the least.
I was so used to being a mum to my kids and I never really thought about myself and what I needed or wanted, it was always about my kids!
You know what I mean right?
I know it may seem a bit uncertain at the moment BUT this is why I am here.
I have been through all the emotions you could possibly think of, from ultimate happiness to the depths of depression with no hope left in me, BUT guess what? I survived and you will too! Not only that, you can live your best life yet, and I want to show you how!
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love being a Mum and wouldn’t change any of it, especially bringing them up on my own from when they were toddlers. It has been the hardest yet greatest experience life has had to offer me. And I am so damn proud of the 2 beautiful amazing young women I have raised and most importantly I am so proud of myself for finding all the strength and determination to overcome all the curve balls life threw at me and never gave up hope! I realize it has made me who I am today and I stand tall with much pride in myself for acknowledging my strengths and awesomeness.
Mumma, you too need to acknowledge how far you have come and what you have achieved! Take a really good look at it and find all your strengths & achievements and write them down, it’s so rewarding to see how far you have actually come. Over the years I have written many letters to myself acknowledging where I was at that point in my life. Measuring your successes helps you to see how much you have grown and changed over the years.
Over the past few years, I have studied Life Coaching and Neuro-Linguistic Programming and have gained many different tools and processes that have helped me to grow, process my feelings and rediscover who I am again and it has helped me to become the best version of myself.
Some may say, you can have your cake and eat it too! I believe this is true. You just need to rediscover what drives you and what you’re passionate about now that you’re on your own. There are so many new opportunities out there available for you to discover. You just need to be open and willing to give it a go and see what it brings for you!
Rediscovering your new purpose in life is magical, it is unlimited, this is where you can dream BIG and design a life you want to live that gives you all that you have ever wanted in life!
Firstly, something I wish I realized and acknowledged when my baby left home was the feelings that came, I felt an enormous loss and was overwhelmed with all the emotions I felt at the time and I had no idea how to process them. Until I realized it was a form of grief. Being a single parent you get so used to having them around for 18 years give or take, and then they leave you. This can be hard to recognize at the time, and when you realize it, you can learn to cope with it.
The most important part I found was to feel all my feelings, and allow myself to release the emotions when they came up. If you’re sad and want to cry, allow it, even when driving your car, no one even notices. When you’re angry feel those feelings appropriately, like yell into your pillow, take it out on a punching bag, or whatever feels right for you.
Mumma’s remember it’s OK to feel your feelings! Once you have processed some of those feelings you are able to think clearer about what you want to do with your life.
This is where I realized I couldn’t do it alone and found myself a mentor who guided me to re-learn how to dream big again, more importantly for me and not for my kids! I found it hard to put myself first in the beginning, and the more I worked on it the easier it was to discover what I wanted again.
We must remember it’s ok for us to dream big too and find what lights us up again. We deserve it as much as our kids do.
